The Laziest Dreamer

My number one passion is to impact the world.  To inspire people beyond their concept of limitations.  To unlock the power over the impossible in the hearts of humans of all ages and ethnicities.  To teach the world how to love again.  And all of this in such a pure manner from such a real place that it puts everyone on a direct collision course with God- and, of course, that’s where their REAL life would begin.

That’s my passion.  My haunting vision.  The thing by which I measure my life every day and fall short.  I live to inspire change, but now all I do is chase change.  That’s sickening.  And it’s go to stop.  Even if I’m broke, phoneless, and in yesterday’s clothes.  I have to live for more and stop wasting my life… gotta stop drying up my own river… money is security- a fortress as the Bible states- but it is not LIFE.

And life is what I crave… Both to receive and to give.

I don’t know what everybody else dreams of… but my dreams are for the world.  Global change.  Nationwide impact.  The core essence of human inspiration in its most refined state.

And you know who my biggest opposition to my dreams has been?

ME.

“I can’t stay on your life support, there’s a shortage in the switch. I can’t stay on your morphine, cuz it’s making me itch.  I said I tried to call the nurse again, but she’s being a little b—-.

I think I’ll get out of here… so I can run… just as fast as I can.  

To the middle of nowhere. To the middle of my frustrated fears, and I swear…

You’re just like a pill. Instead of making me better…

You keep making me ill.” ~P!nk, Just Like A Pill

This song hooked me.  Captured my imagination.  Dove into the deepest parts of who I consider myself to be and exposed the real culprit.  My projection.  The social construct I designed to protect my naked identity.  My safe me has been compromising the real me.  I’m a lazy dreamer.  The laziest.

Who dreams for the world, but lives for the dollar?  And does exceedingly little aside from pursuing the dollar?  A lazy man.  And this song pierced through all of that.  There was no longer any past to hide behind, any more people to blame, any more circumstances to mourn…

There was only me.

I was my own victim.  And the one thing I was most hesitant to do is what I always need to do.  Run into the middle of my frustrated fears.  Dive right into the thick of that mess and unleash the brilliance of my identity and burn it all away.  At the very least eliminate its dominion over me.

And not be afraid to take little steps… If I truly dream of impact, then I need to take it where I can get it.  Oh look… there goes arrogance running out the door.  No opportunity for impact is too small for me.  If it can’t be via the stage, or cinema, or even entertainment period for now- then I need to find what it is for me in the NOW and get to it.

Lazy dreamers live wasted lives, and die hollow deaths.

My name is Joshua Evans.  My projection of myself is the laziest dreamer.  I will be that no longer.

Watch me run.

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