So, what’s this new name changing, publicity garnering schtick you might ask?
It is theatre of blogging in the best way I know how- staying true to myself without compromising in any direction, or going overboard to prove that I am more than the onscreen typeset shows me to be.
Blogging has been a frustrating journey for me thus far, precisely for that reason. Trying to write the two lines for you guys to read between and spot the actual me. Granted, this blogsite has seen me through multiple elevations and transformations- this is just the biggest one to date.
You no longer have to guess what’s between the lines, because from now on I will tell you.
There was a prelude to this in my latest post “Good Christian.” Just raw writing from a raw perspective. ALL OF it mine.
Once a week, on Wednesdays in particular, I work at the International House of Pancakes in Pasadena… and so once a week I am the closest than I am all week to frustrating duality. Working out of necessity and not peculiarity.
Basically- doin what I gotta do, cuz I gotta do it, and not cuz it’s the labor of love born out of the traits of something amazing I’m gifted with.
I read a quote the other day that shook me to my core.
Don’t measure yourself by what you have accomplished, but by what you should have accomplished with your ability. ~John Wooden
Hooowww can I do that if I’m constantly allowing normality to permeate everything I do? To “temper” me in essence. Work wants me tame, the accepted idea of Christianity wants me mild, the arts want me in a formula, friends want me relatable, manhood wants me recklessly disciplined… And I reckon there’s a measure of truth in each want. However, I don’t want that anymore- I want to be all the way true in every arena. All the way me, doled out to maximum capacity wherever I am located.
So in order to be true to any of those things, I have to be true to none of those things. Aim for one, miss the rest (and myself) in the process. Aim for myself and… it doesn’t MATTER what else I get, because getting myself is all that matters.
I am not normal, I am Joshua.
Ironically I was urging my fiance to do the very same thing in her life, that eventually came through blog… a life event we’ve dubbed “Gloves Off.” She got there before I did, yes, but I’m glad to be here now so… amen.
And that’s what it’s all about.
I was at work today contemplating all these things… and the new blog title floated to the top of my head in perfected glory. To begin living in the paradox… not carving out a space where “weird is the new normal,” but where weird is weird and none of us look the same, which is why we’re all beautiful.
Some people are absent minded by nature. Me?
I’m absent normality.