What I Learned at Rock Bottom

Before you read the following- go ahead and click that video and let Indy’s famous score accompany the words. I learned so much from being at rock bottom, but if you can – for a minute – envision me (or you) climbing an impossibly sheer cliffside with the wind blowing heroically at my back and the music careening all around us… I implore you to do so.

(I’m also listening to the score as I type this)

**   **   **

I learned that the yearning for truth and true reality is so deeply ingrained in the human soul as to be unavoidable.

If the passion and drive for it does not arrive now, then it will undoubtedly do so later.  And whenever it does occur, the primary sacrifice that will have to be made is that of technicality.  I can no longer live by “well technically this” and “technically that.”  I have a choice then- pursue and sacrifice now, or be driven mad by life and embrace it later.

There is no such thing as “doing my own thing.”

There are forces and powers greater than me, and at all times I am feeding into one of them.  I cannot “check out” of morality, spiritual affiliation, or personal responsibility simply because the appearance of peace beckons on the other side.  At all times I am either representing and empowering “darkness” or “light” or “life” or “death” or “wholeness” or “perversion,” among many other things.  Selfishness in this matter is literally self destructive.  I destroy myself, and consequently begin destroying everything around me.

Shutting off the lights subjects me to the dark.

In the midst of my frustrations and “put offness” with people, I must endure.  Apostasy on any level is always my free choice, but the more I lower the lights, the more the curse of the dark has direct influence and power over me.  Depression, suicidal inclinations, sexual perversion… The primary shadow afflictions of my past will come roaring in without the light to keep them in check, and allow me to overpower them.

Wrong thinking is the product of wrong thinking.

Accepting the belief that everybody is against me will inevitably yield such.  Believing that God is against me will cause me to go against Him.  I cannot afford to not go the extra mile to establish close relationship with people who have sound minds and strong spiritual fortitude- self alienation will leave me alienated.  Pride is instinctive for me and I need to accept that.  All my blind spots seem to be located at major intersections and to persist in spite of that is foolish- and will cost me my life.

Humility is the demanded sacrifice of the knowledgeable.

I know a lot.  I know things and about things and have no way to prove it other than sound explanation and a track record.  I have amazing intuition and insight.  I can figure things out that I’ve never encountered before. Spiritual awareness is consistently on point and far above average.  I have a great track record with theories thought and advice given.  Blah, blah, blah, it goes on and on… For my entire life I exulted in being so extraordinarily “gifted,” and trying to convince/show everyone around me exactly how gifted  I was.  This, of course, resulted in perversions of the gifts (some minute, others not so much) and lack of the recognition I was so naively grasping for.  It also resulted in me falling prey to ignorance that could have been avoided had I the gall to humble myself.

I believe that every person has a part (or parts) of their life where they are exceptional.  Extraordinary.  Gifted.  And I learned that in these areas… Humility is not option, but requirement. Lack thereof will result in either some form of self destruction, or freeze in production and influence.

Hard work is the identity of a man.

There’s no escaping that.  If I am not working hard, then I am not walking in my role as a man.  Obviously this has nothing to do with appropriate rest or well deserved vacation time… and this also does not mean that I am to brainlessly enslave myself to “the man” until I lose the life in my bones.  Work just means work.  Writing, editing, promoting, publishing, performing, collaborating, doing odd or full time jobs, touring, recycling, volunteering… working.  When men work, things change.  When men work, they lack little.  When men work, life makes sense… the perspective is set properly.

Faith in God through Jesus Christ is not a flippant position.

Do I love theological discussion and debate?  Absolutely.  Do I love talking complex natural/supernatural theories? Without a doubt.  Do I have an intense love for all peoples including homosexuals, atheists, and other “outsiders?” HECK yeah.  … but this cannot result in me personally living in an “on the fence” fashion.  I must live this thing full out and in with all my strength, as much I can muster it up in me to do so- because it is in doing so that I gain what is required for properly loving others.  I’m not a brow beater, or “in your face with condemnation” type of guy.  I very much believe in talking with the people, helping them with physical needs, being discerning, attempting to open eyes, and impacting others with love and understanding (which is- according to my understanding- the core of how Jesus operated).

This does not mean that I can “go easy” in my “off time” or involving personal matters.  The lack of respect for God and my role as a son of God directly correlates to the corruption in my life from selfish living.  Live perfectly? Of course not. Perfection is not humanly attainable on this side of eternity.  Perfection was never the intended goal… which leads to the last major point.

An integral life is the irrevocable calling card to having any kind of life at all.

Selah (stop and pause… consider… think over…).

**   **   **

Once again I thank you for walking with me on this heroic journey called life… 🙂

And now- I must resume my climb back to the top… which, interestingly enough, is only ground zero. Ha!



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